Nakita Grinie

Moms Make it Work and Podcasts

I definitely haven't been posting much on my blog since I returned to work, and it's not because I'm lacking topics. I'll often think, 'Oh, I want to blog about this,' or 'Man, this would be a good/necessary thing to record on the old bloggity blog.' But then it just disappears from my mind and I choose sleep/preparing for work/vegging out on the couch over blog time in the evenings these days.

I suppose this is expected since I've ridden the ebbs and flows of blogging frequency over the years. Time is a luxury for all of us and I'm re-discovering that posting here is an 'extra' but not a necessity, when so many other items on my precious To Do list warrant my attention instead. So bear with me as we 'ebb' and this space gets quieter for a bit while I regain composure and find a groove, since I'm absolutely not ready to let this thing get TOO dusty in the process.

(Although, I must be a little rusty with this blogging thing since I literally spent a good hour typing this post last night and apparently didn't save it before logging out. Let's begin again, I guess. Boo/Hiss.)

One thing I wanted to write about today is the Moms Make it Work series. 2014 has been quite the year for this little idea I concocted last December. When I first sent out the email to my blogger friends asking them if they'd like to participate in a guest post series about how we all make it work in our different situations, I had no idea if anyone would post for me. Little did I know that not only my blog friends but also many readers would offer up their stories and we ended up with seventy-seven posters. SEVENTY-SEVEN, you guys. Moms from all over the world, moms with many different but strikingly similar challenges, moms working outside of the home or staying at home or a mixture of every label possible, military moms, single moms, moms with special needs children, older moms, moms with lots of kids. You name it and we've read it. These moms presented us with inspiration and camaraderie and support. Even if I couldn't personally relate to every part of every post, I value our differences as much as our similarities as mothers. I think this series has been a big time success and I hop you do, too!

For now I'm going to close the series and revisit the idea next year if there are more of you that want to share your story. But thank you to everyone who posted and commented and read along. (fist pound to all of the moms making it work, even when you think you aren't).

Something related to the MMIW series: I've been getting really addicted to podcasts in my van while driving for work lately. One that was recommended to me was Slate Radio's 'Mom and Dad are Fighting' podcast which is all about parenting. I randomly selected one episode called 'The Disdaingate Edition' and it took me a second to realize what the title even meant, since I thought 'disdaingate' was a fancy word I couldn't pronounce at first. But really, the male host (Dan) dropped a huge, charged, intense bomb on his listeners in a prior episode when he admitted he has disdain towards stay at home parents. Oh no he didn't, right? It was a rude, disrespectful, hurtful comment if you ask me and drew a line of division between working moms and stay at home moms even further. Basically the opposite goal of the MMIW series, Dan!! ;)

Listening to the episode was really interesting though, because it brought up a lot of important points on this topic. Dan elaborated on his stab-in-the-heart statement from before by saying he envies families who have a parent that is home with the kids. That he worries maybe his kids are worse off because neither of their parents are home with them. He sometimes feels judged for not staying at home (or because his wife isn't at home), and a lot of this tension stems from insecurities on both sides. The image he had in his mind of what a stay-at-home mom looks like was really ignorant, in my opinion, because it seems like he thought staying at home with the kids is 'easy.' Hahahaha. Oh, Dan. Thankfully many of his listeners set him straight. Staying at home is hard. Working outside of the home is hard. But making it work is key (cheesy but true).

At the heart of this issue, I think we are all worried about doing the best for our children. We're worried that we'll somehow screw up the most weighty job in our lives, which is raising our kids. We worry about how our kids view us and our choices related to them. We might worry what others think about our parenting choices because we're insecure about them ourselves! Maybe nobody is really judging each other because we are all too busy worrying about who is judging us. Interesting thought about this 'mommy war' is that maybe it all stems from an internal battle after all.

Anyway, I found the episode a little tough to hear at times since I really hate confrontation and would rather we all just hold hands and give hugs instead of tearing each other down. But I thought a lot of the resultant conversation was positive and uplifting to hear, too. Have you guys listened to this episode? What did you think?

Moving on...

I mentioned my new obsession with podcasts. 'Mom and Dad Are Fighting' is a favorite, as is 'The Shortest Longest Time'--especially the episode about changing breast pumps to suck less, and the one about how it's almost impossible to share mommy-triumphs without making another mom feel badly about her own situation. So much food for thought here!

But my ultimate for a podcast? Like the rest of the world in social media, I am obsessing over Serial. As in, I listened to the first eight episodes in two days while in the van alone and in the evenings. It's seriously so good. I'm not really sure if Andan did it or not but I want to believe he didn't. Maybe he was involved in Hae's death but I just can't believe he did it all himself! Are you listening to this one? Thoughts? It's seriously fascinating.

More random thoughts to come in a different post. This one is getting lengthy and chalk-full of talking points, I think. Would love to hear from you on these matters even though I know commenting on blogs is hard and annoying and 'out'. But I refuse to believe blogs are totally dead…they just aren't what they used to be. Right?

(I get twitchy if I don't include at least one picture in a post. Here is one that is unrelated but sort of related, since these three kids are GROWING and our parenting is adapting. Or something. July versus November. Holy man, time flies)