Nakita Grinie

Still riding the hormonal high from the excitement on Tuesday. I want to remember the details of the anatomy scan and also the gender reveal photo shoot, so I hope you don't mind the rambling. Spoiler alert in case you haven't seen my various social media updates: It's a boy ;)

On Tuesday morning, when I was exactly 20w0d pregnant, I was too excited to sleep after 5 am. Granted, this was the first wake up from one of my children but usually I don't have any issues passing out again after early morning shenanigans. Not this time.

I got up and showered around 6, applied actual make up (on a day off!), and did my hair. The kids and Nate gave up on the sleeping fight as a whole around 6:45 and we all went downstairs together. I was supposed to drink 24oz of water from 7:30-8 and then hold it all until my 9:00 ultrasound. I did drink lots of agua but didn't keep track of the time so much. I figured as a third time mom my bladder would be sufficiently full for them to get a good scan either way, but I threw in some coffee for good measure. Tony came over at 8 to watch the kids and I was ready to pee myself by 8:30 as we were on the road to the ultrasound. Fun times.

I had requested my favorite ultrasound tech that has done my other two 20 week scans along with a scan before my D&C and another 'growth ultrasound' with CC at 36 weeks when they weren't sure if my fluid was getting too low. We weren't sure if we could actually get our guy but when he walked out and called my name, I nearly forgot about my bulging bladder. Yes! He is so good and talks through the entire scan, telling us everything he sees and what the 'norms' should be. I told him this was the fifth time we'd seen him over the years, he asked how many kids I have and how many pregnancies I've had (I always bristle a little to say 'fourth pregnancy, third child'), and he asked if we wanted to know the sex. We said we did want to find out, but wanted him to put the ultrasound picture with The Shot in the envelope---just like he had done for Cecelia.

He started scanning and immediately said, 'Wow, look at you, mom!' referring to my huge black hole of a bladder. Um, yeah. Apparently I did down enough fluid. Then he scanned my cervix, and up to the baby quickly. He moved the wand a little and said, 'There is going to be no doubt about the sex of this one, since baby is spread eagle. You are going to have to look away a lot during this scan, I think!' Fine by us, and right after that he did have us look away as he printed off the results. Probably 20 more times throughout the hour scan he told us to look away because of Mister Modest's pose. Oh, boy. The tech told us he was 99.9% sure he would be correct with his guess and has only been wrong once in his career. I remember him saying he was 98.5% sure with Cecelia and 99% sure with Truman---so just his assuredness about the correct sex had me thinking more about a boy.

We remained strong although I admit I peeked a lot, but swear I never saw anything obvious. I was probably more confused after the ultrasound actually. Going in I really felt like this baby was a boy, then with the 'obvious' gender that caused us to look away so often I figured it HAD to be a boy. But once when I peeked I thought I saw the 'three lines' of a girl scan, so really cheating did me no good and I left feeling more confused. I just didn't want to miss out on any time seeing our baby on that screen! Nate was more of a rule follower than I and never peeked, apparently. He also officially guessed girl and I officially guessed boy but I promise that correct guess wasn't because I ruined the surprise at the scan. ;)

The technician walked us through the brain views and measurements, neck fold size (for Down Syndrome screening), the spine for signs of Spina Bifida, the kidneys, the bladder and stomach, the eye lenses (!!), the heart, the blood flow into and out of the heart and kidneys, the arm and leg lengths, and tummy/head size. It all looked really good! I might have been holding my breath especially when looking at the brain and heart. Just when I'd get panicked about something looking off (since I'm a fantastic ultrasound tech!) baby would do something especially cute. We got to see him trying to suck his thumb many times and only correctly landing it in his little mouth once. Adorable. He kept opening and shutting his mouth and his jaw is pretty much the sweetest thing ever. The tech kept saying, 'Wow, this is one active baby' because little man wouldn't hold still for a lot of the measurements. I KNEW I felt a lot of movement! Sure enough, he'd wiggle away whenever the tech tried will him to be still.

All of the anatomy looked healthy and normal, and I remember the tech even saying, 'Look at that perfect shot of the four chambered heart,' a few times. We got to watch the heart in detail for some time since the clinic just changed their policy to include much more detailed measures of the heart, something that used to be done at the Perinatology level and not a standard 20 week scan. Don't mind it one bit!

I was pretty much in awe the entire time and Nate was, too. It's just so freaking awesome to have access to modern-day technology that allows us to see our child in utero---a fully formed, growing, miracle in my belly. Pardon my emotions over this but it's beyond my comprehension how something so beautiful can start with a few cells and grow into an actual person. God really knows what he's doing with this whole gestation thing, huh? Boggles my mind. I love it.

A few of the pictures we got to take home. Little thumb sucker.





Sorry to post a picture of your junk online, baby boy. But this is pretty obviously a boy part, no?



After a little over an hour the tech let me pee (OMG, finally!) and then we did a few more kidney pictures. He reassured us that everything looked great but kidneys are just really difficult to see and he wanted the best possible images---and ended up getting good ones. The tech said that my OB would let me know if they wanted me to come back for anything else but he was pretty confident that all was well. The next day my OB's nurse called me to officially say 'your scan was normal' and although seeing their phone number on my screen will always stop my heart, it was nice to hear those words. Sigh of relief for sure!

We left the office and drove back home, discussing our predictions and our plan of attack to get the kids ready for the photo shoot. We arrived home around 10:45 and CC had just woken up from a nap in her Papa's arms---woah, early nap! I guess she needed it and I was happy she rested so that she wouldn't melt down mid-photo shoot. We got the kids dressed, got ourselves dressed, I packed up my goodie bag full of photography bribes and crafts, and freaked out when Cecelia started pulling the 's' off her shirt before we left. I found some craft glue and glued it back on, but come on, Big Sis!! Let's not destroy GoGo's creation!

We headed out as a family and said goodbye to Tony around 11:15. As we arrived downtown at Andrea's new studio we saw Erin parking her car, too. Perfect timing! We were all super excited and I couldn't wait to get the show on the road. Andrea and Erin peeked inside the envelope right away and did a good job of keeping straight faces after that;) We set up the banners, I fed the kids about half of my snacks before we took a single photo, and we were ready to go!





Truman kept asking, 'When are we going to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl?' over and over again, and we weren't sure if he'd ruin the surprise by yelling it out or something. Cecelia was mostly oblivious and straight faced but both kids were so well-behaved and cooperative, it was shocking.

When Erin put the 'lil' brother' onesie in Truman's hand and the ultrasound in Cecelia's hand, Nate and I had our eyes closed and did not peek. The kids were silent and followed Erin's and Andrea's directions perfectly....so that when Andrea told us to open our eyes we saw the blue onesie right away! Truman just smiled and looked so proud, Cecelia was just staring at Andrea, and after we celebrated a bit T ran up to Andrea to look at the back of her camera. He did this a few times at the shoot--I guess he likes to check his angles to make sure Andrea catches his good side;)

Nate and I hugged and kissed, we picked up the kids and hugged them, and I hugged Andrea and Erin. A boy! A baby brother! I was too excited to cry tears of joy at that moment but they definitely came later on in the day. Not because I secretly wanted a boy, or because I was sad this baby isn't a girl. But I just keep getting hit with emotions about this baby in general. It feels so real now that we've seen him moving around, sucking his thumb, opening his tiny mouth. Now that we know Truman is going to have a brother and Cecelia will be sandwiched between two protective boys----it just makes me feel so blessed. I can picture our family so much more clearly now. And I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for these children and this husband.

Wow, sorry, went down a path of epic emotions there for a second.

Pretty freaking awesome to share in this moment with my girls. All of us are pregnant with our third babies. 11 weeks, 20 weeks, 12 weeks.


I won't post all of the pictures again, since you can see them all here. But these are a few of my faves:













And I made an iMovie with the videos and a few of the still shots set to music. I might watch it 500 more times before this kid is born and will smile through the whole 3 minutes every time;) What a day.


Baby #3: Gender Reveal from Julia H. on Vimeo.


After about 45 minutes we had all of the shots we wanted. All of us walked across the street to the Public Market (for the locals) to grab a bite to eat since it was about 12:30 and we were hungry. I tried to text and email a few people while we waited in line for food but my phone seriously DIED on me mid-text. Uggggh. Really, iPhone? Dead at 12:30pm? I figured I would just call my mom and Memaw from Nate's phone but felt badly about leaving my good friends in suspense while we happily chomped away on our meal.

We drove home and T kept saying, 'Mama, we are having a boy!' over and over. The cutest. Then he announced that he was very tired and closed his eyes at 1:30---I guess he needed a nap after such a big morning! CC stayed awake and was singing to us on the way home, also in a fantastic mood all morning and seemingly very into Nate during the photo shoot. She's such a daddy's girl and will be the only princess of the bunch!

I called Mom and Memaw and when we got home, I charged my phone and sent off my texts and emails. As the kids both napped I tried to do some paperwork, Nate had to get his car's emissions tested, and I eventually caved and went through the videos and iPhone pictures I had waiting for me. The videos are what did me in. Such a happy moment for our family.

I'll say it here: I realize that an elaborate gender reveal photo shoot is not for everyone. Heck, finding out the sex is not even for everyone, let alone making it a big production to 'announce' like this. I get it and admit this is a bit 'attention whore-ish' and fully embrace it. I think all mommy bloggers who put their lives out there publicly probably have a teensy bit of AW in them anyway, or at least we appreciate the connections and positive feedback related to events in our lives. I mean, I'm not calling *you* an AW or anything---but I'm owning up to it for this gender reveal;)

We've enjoyed doing this for the last two kids and I adore the pictures we have of us 'finding out' both times, so to us it's worth the effort and AW-ness. Any excuse for me to make crafts and any excuse to plan coordinating outfits for my family makes me happy. Plus, this is very likely my last pregnancy so I fully intend to make a big deal out of everything I can----there is so much to celebrate. I promise not to have huge photo shoots and 100s of pictures for every week of pregnancy here on out or anything. One time deal for now.

We haven't officially discussed names since finding out it's a boy, but I realized that now we won't have to duke it out over the name 'Alice' for a girl. I wanted that one BADLY for Cecelia and Nate shot me down. I was prepared to put up a serious fight this time around and I'm still in love with that name---although he already told me he was 80% sure he'd never like it. Maybe having a boy was a blessing to our marriage;)

I will share a few of our contenders at some point. Let it be known that Truman said 'I think we should call our boy Cranky,' a few minutes after the shoot and he has not stopped offering this idea since. Cranky Crane from Thomas and Friends, duh. He also threw out the idea of 'monkey' while staring at his lovey and 'Mike Wyzowski' a la Monsters Inc. Hahahahah. Oh, buddy. Thanks for those stellar ideas! I have given him a few of my top picks and he likes any of them that can be related to a train or cartoon of some sorts.

So many hilarious questions are emerging from Truman and I love that he really 'gets' it this time. He will count the number of boys in our family now, including Henry, and announces 'there will be four boys and two girls in our family.' He will randomly say, 'I can't believe we are having a boy! I'm so excited' at any time of the day. Originally he said he wanted a sister but I think his preference changed around the time that my intuition changed from this being a girl to a boy. It's neat to think about Truman and his brother being a little over 4 years apart, just like Nate and his brother. Truman being the oldest of three fits his personality so well---my proud first born, paving the path for his siblings in a lot of ways.

Cecelia and I are going to hold down the pink fort among the men. She will stay our 'sister' and we can have lots of mommy-daughter girlie dates along the way. She will have two brothers picking on her and protecting her. I just wonder if she will be tougher than her baby brother?

And the baby boy will always be our 'baby'. All three kids will have their own personalities and place in the family. I just can't wrap my head around having a boy that is not my Truman. Will he look like Truman? Cecelia? Completely different? Will he sleep like his siblings (please, no)? Will he be super laid back since he will be a third child, or extra high maintenance as our baby? Will he nurse as well as his sibs, be as happy as them, get along with them, be as healthy as them?

We can't wait to meet you, little man. You are already so loved. I hope you love being a part of our crazy family as much as we'll love to have you.

You'll have to excuse me as I add to the many 'Back to School' posts in your feed today. But this is one of those events that feels heavy in my head, like it needs to be blogged immediately to prevent any of the details from sliding away.

Today Truman had his first day of 'junior kindergarten'---which is the same thing as 'pre-school', '4K', 'pre-K', etc. It was the start of something huge, a new chapter in Truman's life and therefore our lives. From this day forward, he is a school-aged boy, one that will be doing this daily routine for the next fourteen years. Don't even mention what will happen after high school, alright? My mommy heart cannot handle the thought of *that* giant transition. We'll stick to the junior kindergarten transition for now.

For two-and-a-half hours today, I had to let my first born go a little bit more than I've ever done before. Sure, he's gone to daycare and has done plenty of 'big kid' activities without me right next to him. Sure, it's only a few hours and the school is literally across the street. Sure, it's something that every mother has to do with their children; letting them go a little bit at a time. It's something that we've been anticipating all summer long and I've been completely excited and not too sad. Today both extremes of emotions hit hard as I waved goodbye to my Truman, and walked home, and let him start his next phase of life.

I knew the morning would be really chaotic, since Nate wasn't able to take off of work and it was all me with the three kids, trying to get us all organized and out of the door by 8:15. I could barely sleep after 5am and just kept going through the check list of things to do before we left: get myself presentable, feed the kids, assist in dressing, take hundreds of pictures, try not to cry, and so on. Truman and Cecelia both slept in until a mind-boggling 7:15 today which gave me time to get dressed and prep for their breakfasts. They came downstairs and Truman was all smiles---I said, 'Today is your first day of school, buddy! I'm so excited!!' and he was, too.

I only had to crack the whip a few times to get the sleepy heads moving in the right direction. Breakfast, clothes on (and he even let ME pick out his outfit today!), brush teeth, and then picture time. I pulled out the photoshopped sign I had made and explained where everything was inside of his beloved backpack. We snapped pictures on the front porch as we watched all of the cars parking on the street, kids and parents walking to school, a flurry of activity and excitement and the start of a new year. I truly cannot believe it's our turn, that we were a part of this milestone today.









(my usual trick of saying 'Don't look at me!!' which usually causes a huge smile, didn't work like I expected. He actually turned away this time!)


(Oh, but then he flashed me this smile. This is SO Truman with that closed mouth grin, dimple, and half squinty eye)


After a few mediocre pictures (his backpack was too heavy with all of the supplies, my sign was way too glossy, CC was getting annoyed, etc) we walked up the street together. Porter was sleeping in the Ergo, Cecelia wouldn't leave Truman's side, and my big boy was practically skipping on the sidewalk. He asked if his friends were there and I spotted a few of the neighborhood moms, happy that five of his classmates are neighbors that we already know.





We got to the crowd and chatted with friends, and then Truman's teacher started coming around to check everyone in and confirm who would pick each child up at the end of the day (ha ha, at 10:55am, I mean).



All of the parents talked about how hot it was, whether or not anyone slept in their houses last night, and how the kids seemed to be handling it. Eventually they all lined up against the brick wall and we were allowed to walk up to the room with them just for today, but usually we will say our goodbyes outside. The moms took turns taking pictures of each other with our kids. My crew in all of their glory, and silly Porter stretching his neck to get a good view of the camera;)


And big boy, lined up outside.




Up in the most adorable classroom ever, the parents read over the instructions on the projector screen: place backpack in cubby, folder in white bin, school supplies on table, and get a name tag. It was totally crazy in there since Truman's class is a HUGE twenty-four students, plus twenty-four nervous/happy parents trying to maneuver their way around the classroom. We found his cubby and his name tag and then T found a spot on the 'square-colored rug' next to some friends. I stood in the back with Porter on my chest and Cecelia at my side and tried really hard not to cry.





The teacher welcomed everyone once they were sitting. She asked them to turn their bodies so their eyes could see her, and one of the kids said, 'But your eyes can't see yourself!' She agreed, and Truman piped in, 'But if you had a mirror, you could see your own eyes.' My brave boy, talking in front of everyone----I know he is going to be just fine;)



Then she said, 'Everyone look at those mommies and daddies back there. Can you give them a wave? And now tell them 'goodbye!'' and they did. My big boy looked right at me, smiled, waved, and blew me a kiss right at the same time I acquired a huge lump in my throat. This was really happening. It was time.

I left the room with my two littlest kids and fought back the tears, yet again. I chatted with some of the other moms and said, 'See you in two hours!', then took Porter and Cecelia home with me. It was a surreal moment in time and one I probably won't forget anytime soon. CC was totally out of sorts at home, asking where Truman was, saying she was 'super tired', being a little whiney and unsure of how to play without her big brother. I eventually took Porter and CC for a long walk because it was just too weird at home, and then we headed right for the playground to wait for mister man. I realized that a few of the trees in our area already have a few orange leaves----back to school, and it's almost Fall. Wow.





We saw the teacher come out first, followed by twenty-four of the most adorable, huge, but tiny junior kindergarteners ever. She went down the line and had each kid give her a high five and/or a hug before they were released to the designated parent. Truman was blowing the little whistle on his backpack, waving to CC and I, and smiling his classic grin. I got a video of him giving the teacher a five AND hug, running over to us, and returning two big hugs from Cecelia. Apparently she missed him more than I knew, hugging him and giving him a leaf as if to say, 'I'm so glad you are back.' It's the cutest video ever, in my humble opinion.



We played on the playground for awhile and I met a few new moms---women that could possibly be a part of my life for many more years now, which is both strange and really awesome to consider. Truman said he met a lot of new friends and they all pretended to be puppies on the playground together (?!). Talk about an oxymoron: seeming SO big and yet obviously still so young at the same time. ;)

Walking back home, Truman and Cecelia wouldn't listen to me and got scolded for refusing to hold hands as we crossed the street. Porter was crying in my arms, I was pushing an empty double stroller, and the emotional fall back was hitting everyone pretty hard at that moment. Cecelia went up for her nap, Porter is now sleeping in my arms, and I got a full report from Truman before his iPad time began.

Apparently they listened to a story told by his teacher, they got to choose between playing with trains, playing house, or playing with blocks---and he chose playing house. They colored, they ate their snacks packed by their parents, and then it was time to get their backpacks from the cubby holes. Pretty fantastic day, it seems.

I am just so proud of my boy. He is going to love school and I think his teacher will love him, too.

I guess I never really understood this big milestone until I went through it myself. It's so awesome and such an amazing event to see your first born growing up, moving forward in the big world, while letting go of him at the same time. It's terribly cliche to say, but I swear I was just taking his monthly baby pictures and posting about him learning to walk on this blog. Wasn't I just making his 'first year' collage? Posting about his second birthday party? Then him becoming a big brother two times? The little boy who made me a mother is now making me a mom with a child in school. Where on earth did the last four years go?

As I looked through the pictures I took this morning, added some text to announce this big occasion with an image that seems to capture his innocence and potential, I realized that this is the next big step. After the weekly and monthly posts about babies growing up, come the yearly 'back to school' posts. The 'end of the school year' pictures will follow, and true summer fun in between. You've read about Truman growing up over the years and here I am, posting about him going to school. Funny how that works, huh?

I've never felt more like a legit MOM than I do right now, you guys. It's such a wild, fast ride and I'm so honored to travel along with my Truman as he enters these phases for the first time. My big boy. What a ride.