Showing posts with label Three. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Three. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
My Prediction on How Stressful Three Kids Will Be
I'm sure a lot of you have read this article by now, as I've seen it circulate through Facebook a few times. Apparently Today.com surveyed over 7,000 US moms and the results tell us that moms with three kids are more stressed out that moms with four kids. Here is an interesting quote:
"The study found that while transitioning from two to three children is overwhelming for parents because it means they are outnumbered, mothers tend to 'let go' once they reach four children."
So they are saying we need to have four kids to 'let go' and be less stressed? I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. I realize that I don't actually have three kids yet and maybe I will eat my words some day, but I can assure you that I'm not going into this assuming it will be easy. There will be stress, sure. There was also stress as a new mom to my only child. And again when we transitioned to two children. I understand that having three kids means you are 'outnumbered' and the defense switches from man on man to zone. Three kids means a lot of 'needs' that will rest squarely on my shoulders (and my husband's, and our 'village' that is here along with us). But my bottom line is that how can one generalize to say that 'three kids is the hardest number' when there are so many unique factors to consider?
Doesn't it depend on the kid? I hear that there are mythical babies out there who sleep through the night at 6 weeks. I simply cannot imagine what life would be like to get solid sleep before the year mark of a baby's life. Some babies have colic, some babies are seriously ill, some are needy and have 'intense' personalities. Some don't sleep (mine). Some babies are really challenging when it comes to getting them to eat and gain wait. Let's say you have one of these difficult personality traits in a baby, but he's your first child. Don't you think that this mom would say that 'ONE CHILD IS SO HARD!' ? Or what if you have an 'easy' baby the first time around and then payback comes with number two? Pretty sure that mom would say, 'HOLY COW, HAVING TWO KIDS IS STRESSFUL!' And that is ok! Mad props to all moms with any number of children, no matter how easy or hard they may be. It's hard and it's different and it's also wonderful, if you ask me. I think it's more about each individual child and their challenges versus some 'critical mass' number of children that is 'hardest'. Isn't the concept of stress a thing that is in the eye of the beholder? It's really very subjective and personal.
This brings up a thought that has been swirling in my head for a bit, one that I might also mention in an upcoming blog post about the 'best advice' I've received. I believe that people are as happy as they make their minds up to be---a quote I've had written in my high school 'quote book' for years now. Some people will be miserable and negative and stressed and will try to bring other people down along with them with their complaints. And trust me, we ALL have those moments---but I'm talking about the general mindset of people, not just a bad day here or there. There are simply the 'woe is me' people of the world who never seem to snap out of it, right?
I also think that some of the most positive, optimistic, and laid back people in the world also happen to have intense challenges in their lives. They have major stresses, too. But it's all in how you handle it. Have you noticed that those who are dealt really crappy cards in life (cancer, the loss of a loved one, serious illness in the family, financial difficulties, etc. ) can also be the ones that seem to handle it with grace? I guess it's one of the times when the cliche 'God won't give you more than you can handle' rings true. Again, I'm not saying that anyone with heartbreaking circumstances doesn't deserve to complain and feel badly about their situation. They do! But I also believe we can control our reaction to events, but we cannot control what happens to us in life.
Why can't we make a conscious decision, as mothers with three children, to 'let go' right now? Why does it have to take a fourth child to learn that lesson? The article clearly states that mothers stress more about the pressure they put on themselves versus the pressure they feel from others. Isn't that another can of worms in the world of moms? I think we are all our own worst critics.
Maybe those 7,000 moms who were interviewed for the survey are right in that three kids is the 'most stressful' number. But I just don't agree with generalizing that ALL moms of three kids are the 'most stressed' moms. I think it depends on the mom and the kids and all of the complex circumstances around their lives.
So my prediction on how stressful three kids will be for me? No clue. Probably hard but not impossible. It depends on what type of child we are given this time around, so what is the point of speculating before it happens? There will be an adjustment period, a learning curve, some low points and hopefully even more high points of having three children. I can't promise that I'll never be stressed out or have my whiny posts on this blog at times, but I can promise to focus on the positive as much as humanly possible. I realize how quickly these little kid years will pass, I realize how blessed we are to have two-going-on-three kids. The other day-to-day stresses in life really need to take a back burner to the bigger picture of priorities. Less stress. More laughter and sarcasm.
There will be wine at that point, too, which will surely help;) Maybe those 7,000 moms aren't big drinkers?
Time to insert a random picture of my kids that must be included in a post with so many words. The caption: I 'only' have two kids right now so I should save all of my stress for when there is another one of these guys posing for the camera, I guess. My kids are not perfect and definitely have their challenging STRESSFUL moments…but they sure are cute;) Plus, Nate says we are NOT having four so I better get used to the stress level of three at some point!
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Twenty three weeks
No new fruit this week since the baby is still the size of a papaya. I'm not sure I've grown that much either, but I'm still rocking the maternity shirts because I'm almost 6 months pregnant, darn it.
I'm not going to lie, taking these weekly pictures really plays mind games on me. Every time I upload a new one I think one of two things: I am NOT showing enough for being ____ weeks pregnant, or Why do I just look chubby instead of pregnant? I know, I know, I'm whining again about the changes my body is making for this pregnancy. But let's do a little look back shall we?
This is me on the day I got my positive pregnancy test, 4 weeks pregnant. It's how I'm used to looking every day of my life and when Nate and I just looked at this picture we were both like, 'Woah, I guess was pretty thin back then.' Not to mention that back in July I actually had somewhat of a tan.
And this is me now. Filling out a sports bra which is really cool, but just with a thicker midsection than before. I mean it's a BIG difference compared to the above pic but still...do I REALLY look pregnant to you? It doesn't help to have a pale + thick belly either.
And if you are too lazy to scroll up and down, like me, here you go:
Over analyzing my usual belly pics made me want to do the sports bra shot, although I planned to refrain from that until the end. Nate was helping me decipher why I felt so chunky with my 'shirt pulled up shots' and I think it's because of my hand placement. (Don't worry, Nate reassured me that I am not actually fat and it's all in my head but considering the fact that he has to live with me and has already dealt with my neuroses for 8 years, he had to do something to make me feel better). So I think the bare belly shot with sports bra helps matters a bit so that my hands don't get in the way of my gut, thus giving the illusion of a thicker midsection. Am I annoying you yet? This was seriously bugging me, so I had to fix it. We'll see what I feel like donning next week. And really, I might not look almost 6 months pregnant compared to other girls out there, but compared to my non-pregnant self I look VERY different, right? I need to stop comparing myself to others and just chill out a bit. And I need to stop thinking my gut is fat because apparently my pregnant body just adds weight throughout my long torso and not a little basketball bump like I'd hoped. Anyway...
After the wonderful comments and suggestions from my readers, we've decided to use our REI dividend to get a BOB and we are so excited! Making that decision sparked us to begin our registry, too, and so on Friday night we hit up BRU for some scanning gun action. It wasn't nearly as overwhelming as I feared. In fact, it was pretty much a blast dreaming about all of the goodies our baby boy will use in a few months. We spent over two hours wondering around BRU and if you looked at our registry you'd know who was in charge of the scanner--there are two bibs on there that say things like, 'If you think I'm cute you should see my Daddy' and 'My Dad is cooler than your Dad.' Also, we have about a billion random toys and trinkets on there that Nate could not resist, as a big kid himself. And even though the lady told us NOT to register for all of the adorable clothes that will probably be discontinued soon as the seasons change, we couldn't resist. I mean, seriously....you know how much Nate loves dressing himself let alone his future son:)
While we were shopping I realized that neither one of us had bought ANYTHING for the baby since we found out I was pregnant. Isn't that insane? I know some parents buy stuff for the baby even before pregnancy so I think waiting until 23 weeks is pretty good:) So while we were scanning the most adorable baby boy clothes, I decided we each needed to pick out one little outfit for mister man. And so I found my pick within 30 seconds and Nate took 30 minutes, but baby now has an outfit from each of his parents.
From daddy:
From mommy:
So I spent a better part of my day on Saturday scouring through reviews online, my friends' registries, and our Consumer Report baby gear book to further consolidate our registry. I think the things I'm most excited about so far are the car seat (Graco Snug Ride 35, if you were wondering), the diaper bag (an adorable red and brown JJ Cole style), and all of the fun little entertainers and seats for the baby. Most overwhelming is definitely the bottle and feeding decisions you have to make. My baby will be taking a bottle since he'll be in daycare, but with 10 different brands out there it's hard to know what he'll like before he tries them out. So after even MORE research I added a few different brands and will hope for the best. Any recommendations?
But enough of that boring stuff....the chair cushions are finished! My mom shipped the covers to me last week and I love the finished product. So does Henry:
And even though I hate these crappy panoramic shots, it's the best I can do without a wide-angle lens. And it's rather humorous to see Henry with approximately 8 legs. You can see the full effect of the rug plus fabric plus paint. Just the bedding and some shelves with fun wall decor and this nursery is on it's way to being finished!
Twenty-three weeks: registries, research, and more relentless nursery projects:) I swear I've tried to capture little man kicking my innards on video all week long and he won't budge. But I'm determined! Stay tuned.
Monday, April 3, 2017
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Friday, January 6, 2017
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Monday, October 17, 2016
Thirty Three Weeks
On to the second to last fruit, my friends. Only one more after this! We have entered the stage of a honeydew melon. Woah!
That's one veiny stomach! No, they aren't stretch marks. My magnifying glass is still failing to notice anything thus far. It's just a little too much contrast in my editing skills, I believe.
According to The Bump's timeline, baby can now blink and dilate his irises while light shines through my stomach. Um, weird?! He can also recognize and react to simple songs so apparently I'm supposed to practice my lullabies now. I feel like a lot of people ask me if I'm regularly talking or reading to the baby, too, which I have to honestly reply: "No, not really." I mean it's great that he can hear me and all but I just find it odd to carry on a conversation (or worse--an out-of-tune chorus) with my stomach. I guess I just feel connected to baby Carlos without directly speaking to him. Hopefully I'm not impairing his intelligence early in the game by forgoing nightly lullabies in the womb. :)
I've started to get used to strangers noticing my bump, even though that just started in the past two weeks, and I'm happy to finally be at the 'obviously pregnant' stage. When people ask when I'm due and I tell them March 14, I tend to get a lot of raised eyebrows in return. They are surprised to hear it's so soon and follow that up with the classic, 'But you are so small!'. Again, I've gotten used to that statement, too. I just inform them that I'm measuring right on for my due date and feel lucky to still be comfortable this late in the game. I'm sure I'll get to be as big as a house in a few more weeks but I still can't complain too much about pregnancy in general. Still loving it and trying to soak in every moment before it's over because time is passing with incredible speed these days.
So this week was certainly a busy one. We had our breastfeeding class on Monday night which was awesome and I'm totally in love with the Lactation Consultant at my hospital. I'm pretty sure Nate enjoyed the class, too, even though he was a little skeptical of a two hour class all about boobs (scratch that, he was probably excited about the topic). I feel like at least we have a little bit of background on how it all works, some common road blocks, time lines to follow, and resources to investigate.
Then on Wednesday, Nate flew out to Oregon to visit his brother while Henry and I held down fort back home. Work was insane this whole week, which lead to me being really grouchy and overly tired, feeling genuinely out of steam by Friday. But it was perfect timing because my prenatal hour-long massage on Friday was TO DIE FOR. It was absolutely the best massage of my life probably because I was so tired and haven't had a massage in over a year. I think I even woke myself up once during the session with a snort. Nothing like a fat pregnant lady snoozing away while her swollen ankles get rubbed down by a stranger!
All weekend long, I went completely nuts with nesting. I deep cleaned our place, did about 8 loads of laundry including prepping our cloth diapers and washing every single piece of baby paraphernalia, packed it all away and put together a some baby gear, made some crafty baby projects, wrote all of my thank you notes, grocery shopped, returned a few things at every store known to mankind, and bought a few odds and ends for the baby/storage in our house. You know nesting is in full force when I purged all of my old holey underwear from my dresser and decided to wash every bra I own--that type of thing just doesn't happen regularly, unfortunately. Oh yeah, and I learned how to use a sewing machine with the help from one awesome mother-in-law and we finally finished the baby bedding. To say that I'm obsessed with the end result is an understatement. Heck, I didn't break 38 threads while spending nearly 6 hours slaving away as a domestic diva for some ugly project. Baby bedding complete! Huge check mark, my friends.
I am in love with how the nursery is coming together. Now I'm working on hanging picture frames and shelves but really it's almost complete!
So 33 weeks: nesting up a storm and feeling truly pregnant. Not a bad place to be!
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