Nakita Grinie

Longest week ever.

I don't know if I have ever been so thankful for it to be Friday.
The week started off rough when I got the news that a family friend had lost her battle with cancer.
She was the wife of my childhood soccer coach (which you might remember he lost his battle with cancer on Valentine's Day)
My heart is breaking for my 2 friends who lost both their parents within 3 months.
They are an amazing family and did so much for me & my soccer career.
Cancer sucks.

Then, on Tuesday I heard the news about Jacqui of Baby Boy Bakery.
I met Jacqui 3 years ago when I went to Blog Sugar and we have been following each others blogs/instagrams ever since.

If you are on instagram, I am sure you heard the news and seen the hashtag #RedBalloonsforRyan
Her 3.5 year old son Ryan was playing frisbee with family in the front yard and the frisbee went into the street and he ran after it and was tragically hit by a truck.
You can read the whole story {here}
I cannot imagine the horror of losing a child.
Your only child.
The week before Mother's Day.
My heart is broken in a million pieces for Jacqui & her husband Dan.

Download the printable {here} made by Katy Girl Designs

Ryan had beautiful red hair and loved red balloons and the hashtag
#RedBalloonsforRyan has gone viral.
 Please keep Jacqui & Ryan in your prayers in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
No parent should have to bury their child.

And, if the week wasn't emotional enough, there has been some scary threats at the school I teach at.
We have had police at our campus every single day this week.
There were also copy cat threats at my girls school, so police have been there as well.
Scary, scary stuff.
I am just thankful the threats were empty threats and (hopefully) just some lame kids doing a prank.
But because of the world we live in, these things need to be taken seriously.
 I don't like the feeling of being anxious in my classroom wondering if me & my students will be safe.
I don't like the feeling of sending my kids to school and wondering if they will be safe & having them ask why there are policemen walking around their school.
I don't like my girls asking me if people are going to die at school.

This week has given me a shift in Perspective.
The past few week I have been tired.
I am a very postive person my nature, but I have found myself complaining that I didn't have anytime to do the things that *I * wanted to do.
I wasn't complaining outwardly, but in my heart I felt bitterness creeping up that I never had time for me.
I was losing my patience with my kids.
The end of the school year exhaustion creeping in.

I get home from a busy day of teaching 130 crazy middle schoolers (and if you are a teacher, you know the craziness of the last month of school....kids are squirrely and ready for summer, but we have to finish up all our curriculum)
After I am done with school, it's right into Mommy mode.
Pick up Luke, head to the girls school & pick up Kate.
Wait at school for 45 minutes for Claire to get out.
Get home, get the girls ready for swim team.
Go to swim team, get home.
Have Kate finish up homework, chase Luke around & make sure he doesn't climb on tables or hurt himself.
Luke is busy. He is always on the go, go, go.
Try and play with Claire & meet her needs while chasing Luke.
Breaking up fights between the girls.
Make the kids dinner.
Count down the minutes until Kevin gets home.
Get kids ready for bed. 
Make dinner for me & Kevin while he reads them books & puts them to bed.
Eat dinner.
Collapse on the couch around 8pm so I can watch TV (like Breaking Bad) and check my email.
But, one of course one of the kids is up at least 1 per night, so we have to deal with that.
The past few weeks I was just feeling exhausted and what I really wanted for Mothers Day was a day off.
A day off from being a mom.
A day to be by myself and not cater to everyone's needs.

But, then....this week happened.

My friends lost their mom less than 3 months after their Dad passed and won't be able to spend time with her (or him) on Mother's Day. 
Instead they will be planning her funeral.
+++
Jacqui will spend this Mother's Day as a Mom who doesn't have her son anymore.
A child-less Mother. A Mom whose son is now an angel in Heaven.
+++
Scary stuff happening at my school and my kids school making me wonder...
Was something going to happen to me? Was something going to happen to my kids?

How selfish was I to be complaining about those little things about being tired and having no time to myself.

At least my mom is still alive.
At least my kids are still alive.
I will be spending this Mother's Day with them and counting my blessings. 
Not complaining about the lack of "me" time.
Yes, being a working mom with 3 young kids is hard, but this is just a season of life.
Just like the printable says.....I will learn to love the skies I'm under.
I just needed a little shift in perspective.