Nakita Grinie

The Saga of Sleep from One Tired Mama

If you follow me on Instagram you've already seen my sleep chronicles documented daily by a picture and a few choice words on the matter. But I have a lot more to say/spew at you about sleep in this household--more than IG can handle. Because what a saga it's been. As always.

In my last monthly post I mentioned that Cecelia was still waking up 2-5 times each night. And co-sleeping had gone from something that worked really well for our family to something that wasn't helping the sleep situation at all. She used to sleep next to me, grunt a bit when she was ready for the boob, and I'd wake up for 0.2 seconds to latch her on then we'd both drift off without even registering a disturbance in sleep. It was awesome. Well, it made waking up 5 times a night tolerable at least, because I didn't even feel that tired. And then she went and changed it all on me. Typical baby stuff, I suppose.

Cecelia decided that nursing in sidelying just wasn't cutting it anymore, and she demanded that I sit up with her in bed and nearly paralyze myself with the extreme positioning of my neck. I started to wonder  if something needed to change. And when she started getting fussy at each of the numerous wake ups, unable to settle back down into a nice comfy co-sleeping bundle of goodness, I knew it was time. I was tired, at my breaking point, feeling resentful towards my sweet baby for not sleeping and my husband for not being able to help at night. But as any sleep-deprived mama knows, it's difficult to find the energy and the focus to do something different at 3 am when all you want to do is get back to sleep as fast as possible.

My favorite, no-fail tool for going back to bed used to be nursing. And in my gut I knew I had sort of created a monster with a wicked suck-to-sleep association. Granted, Cecelia is just inherently cuddly and craves to be touched and held and carried. She is a total mommy's girl by nature and I realize that nursing her back to sleep only played into her tendencies to be 'needy', keeping her from putting herself back to bed without me. But I will say it here: I do not regret one single time that I spent cuddling my babe to sleep. I love the fact that she is such a hug-able, happy kid. I don't think she needs to be independent and sleeping like a grown up just yet, since she is only 6 months old---but I do think she needs to sleep more, for longer stretches, for the better of our entire family.

And the other thing I kept coming back to, when deliberating over what to do: Cecelia has always slept really well for Lori when I'm not there. So she doesn't NEED to nurse to sleep. She does know how to self-soothe a bit. In fact, she was taking most of her naps at home for me without nursing down, so I knew it was even possible for her to sleep at home without nursing. But at night she was only lasting about 2.5-3 hours for her longest stretch and then it was total chaos after that.

So what, then, was the freaking problem? Did she just want to be with mama? Was she cold or wet? Did she really not know how to sleep at night without me? I wasn't sure she was actually hungry when she woke up but it was a possibility. After all, we solved Truman's sleep issues and finally got him to STTN at 9 months when we started giving him a big fat 6 oz bottle at night and then did 'daddy only' bootcamp until morning for a few nights. Only bottles, no nursing, tanking him up before bed instead of letting him nurse and fall asleep right away. It worked like a charm for my number one, so why not number two? But I was hesitant because, well--Cecelia has never let Nate soothe her at night. Nor give her a bottle without losing her freaking mind. Not to mention that sleep wars with a second child means potentially waking up your first child in the next room, which could spell total disaster for the entire family. Definitely a little bit tricky this second time around.

I picked up the book 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Pantley and started reading it one afternoon. I had read this book with Truman but I didn't really remember any of the details (probably because I was in a sleep-deprived haze back then, too). As soon as I read the introduction about how the author wanted to find a happy medium between the 'CIO camp' and the 'just deal with it camp' I felt a sense of relief. Like, maybe there IS a way to get her to sleep better without enduring hours of screaming from my strong-willed babe.

I never even got to the heart of the book when she talks about what to do to change things. But on Thursday night I told Nate that I wanted to try a bottle for the first wake up and include him in soothing her down after that. He was game, obviously, as he stared into my bloodshot eyes and feared that his level-headed, well-rested wife would never return otherwise. My other goal was to keep CC in her room all night long and not cave into the lure of co-sleeping. So I pumped before bed, which I hate to do, and crossed my fingers.

She was up at 10:30 and Nate gave her a 5 oz bottle. WHICH SHE TOOK WILLINGLY. This is freaking huge, people. After squawking for 30 minutes she fell back to sleep at 11. Then just 2.5 hours later she was up again and we took turns giving her the pacifier, I changed her diaper, I rocked her and then finally she got pretty ticked off so I nursed her in the rocking chair. She was awake for an hour that time, but did finally fall back to sleep. And then 3.5 hours later, at 5:45am she was up for the day despite my trying to convince her otherwise.

Which means the first night of 'Operation Try Something Different' yielded just two wake ups, although one lasted for an hour and she was up before 6 am for the day. And she stayed in her room the entire night, letting her daddy do some of the soothing. Big time success.

The next few nights were more of the same thing---our plan of attack only included a bottle by daddy at the first wake up, then playing it by ear after that. On Friday night she was up 4 times which felt extra awful when nursing her in the rocking chair AWAKE instead of being half-asleep in my own bed while nursing. Even worse are those pesky 1.5+hour wake ups at night. That is when the devil really speaks to me, just so you know. ;)

Then on Saturday night she went back to just two wake ups. And Sunday night? Freaking ONE wake up and not a single nursing session all.night.long. She technically woke up once at 12:30 but fell back to sleep as Nate was heating her bottle. Then at 2:30 she was up, took the 6 oz bottle from Nate, and passed out. She slept until 6:15 and my boobs almost exploded but it was SO worth it!

One thing I've learned is that I might go 'rescue' Cecelia from her squawks way too soon. Now that Nate can play at this nighttime game he noted that if we just let her talk a bit, she almost always falls back to sleep pretty quickly. I usually go to her after a few minutes, afraid she will wake up Truman with her yells---but she isn't angry or crying or upset, so I guess we need to let her figure it out on her own. If she IS really hungry or mad she will let us know---pretty obvious the difference between, 'Hey guys, is it time to cuddle yet?' and 'GIVE ME MILK, NOW!'. I'm really thankful that Nate is helping me decide when to go to her and when to wait it out.

Now I'm no dummy and I'm way too pessimistic to actually believe she will continue waking up just 1-2 times (or NO times! Can you imagine?). I know that there will certainly be regressions and teething and random horrible nights in our future. But I'm basically just writing this blog post today as a small celebration saying, 'We are making progress! And it is HARD to make change, but it's possible. Follow your gut and try something new.' Yes, that is my PSA for the day.

We are planning to keep up with the bottle at first wake up, some daddy help, and then playing it by ear after that. I don't want to totally cut out nighttime nursing just yet---a little worried about what that would do to my supply and our breast feeding relationship during the day. And also, on the days I work out at 5am I'm hoping she DOES nurse during the night or else I might have to pump before the gym to avoid a majorly painful workout. Not cool. But I guess we'll just take it a day at a time for now. Progress is still awesome and sleep is the best. The best, I tell you!

Because you just read a really long, rambling post about sleep I shall reward you with adorable children pictures. You are welcome.

Yes. That is a baby in a sweater dress and leggings. I know---it's too much.






Loving my girl in blue---this is the day of her 6 month shots. Handled it pretty well, huh?


Miss Grabby is always picking on her brother. He doesn't seem to mind. Yet.






Try not to die over this next series of Christmas jammies. Truman's fake smile and CC's ruffled velour are really too much for my heart:








I am literally OBSESSED with Christmas pajamas, you guys. It's a sickness.

Also, my 6.5 month old still doesn't want to roll. Apparently the Pediatrician isn't concerned because she *has* rolled before but literally only twice. So tonight as she was really getting into it, and I was about to wet myself from excitement, this happened. Poor girl. Complete freaking chaos in this house when Truman and Henry dog chase each other. Piercing screams are totally unnecessary in my book, right?